Behind Her Smile
by Stitch My Mouth
Summary: Misao, who believes Aoshi will never love her and only locks her out, commits suicide which ends with tearing Aoshi apart, causing him to think on everything he ever did to try to protect her that made her feel unwanted. NOT a happy story! R&R please.


**Behind Her Smile**

**Summary:** Misao, who believes Aoshi will never love her and only toys with her and locks her out, commits suicide which ends with tearing Aoshi apart, causing him to think on everything he ever did to try to protect her that made her feel unwanted. NOT a happy story! But it is pretty so read it anyway. R&R please.

**Rated:** PG-13 for words, suicide, and depression

**Note:** Do not tell me about my grammar, spelling, or whatever the fuck else you want to complain about, I write this way on purpose to show you can have a good story without the proper grammar. -

_4444_

Behind her smile, behind her laugh and cheeriness lied a thick darkness known as emptiness, nothing ever changed he always remained the same. Cold, Dark, Cruel, and Beautiful. A terrible mixture. She remembered the times he smiled and laughed, she remembered the times he protected her as a husband does a wife. I mean sure, he still protected her, but only because he had too, not because he cared. She always smiled at these beautiful memories, however memories never kept people warm at night. They never soothed her pain filled heart. It was all a joke to him she thought, he never really cared, he never really would care, it was all a little game. Yes, break the girl to ease his pain. It wasn't funny to her in the least, she never liked to be toyed with, never wanted her emotions played with like a cat does a mouse. He must think himself so great to be able to manipulate her for his needs. She did whatever he asked of her, she'd even take a bullet for him, but that had already been done several times infact, but not by her. Never by her. He wouldn't allow it, he'd go mad before letting her get hurt by anyone other then him, it was the way he ticked, or atleast partly ticked anyway, she'd neevr figure him out, it was impossible.

She waited days, weeks, months and years for him, she'd wait for him for all enternity if she had too that's how strongly she loved him, and finally when forever had ended she went searching for him, but when she found him he was anything but happy to see her. He shut her out, told her he hated her, broken her fragile heart, for you see that's what kept her safe, was if he wasn't in her life at all, it kept her safe, for he knew that if he ever gave into his desires for her he'd break her like glass in a heartbeat. So he tried to stay as distant from her as he possibly could and if it meant he had to tell her to get the hell out of his life, then by god's will, he would.

But of course, he failed, her feelings grew slightly weaker only to grow 10 times stronger. For you see love is a funny thing, it is always fucking with you, it doesn't care as long as you don't understand it then who cares.

When he returned she welcomed him with open arms and innoncent smiles, he could never take that away from her, never, and being with her would do just that, but he was stuck for you see, by pushing her out it also destroyed that innoncence, but sadly he never once saw it coming. He was to busy trying to save her from himself.

**Love, is only a word,** he told her one night, **it does not exist in real life.**

**Love,** she replied, **is real, you're wrong, for I am in love.**

He always told her he would never love another person as long as he lived and he always saw a flick of pain in her eyes when he said it but it was the only way. But, because of his words she left. For good.

She always told him with a smile on her face that no matter what he would always have people who cared for him, that was true but he knew what she meant, however he liked playing dumb. He had to admit it was fun to tease her, however he barely did it, if he showed to much emotion towards her everyone would see how he felt. Except for her of course. She never really saw anything. But yet even though he pushed her away she still waited, she would wait forever. She never made it easy on him.....then one day, she told him how she felt and with all his strength he lied to her and told her he did not return her feelings. Heartbroken, she killed herself. She jumped off of a cliff into a river below. Her head had come incontact with a large sharp rock but the cause of death of drowning. Showing that in her last moments of life was full of pain not only in her heart but onto her precious body.

When the man recieved the news, he remained calm infront of everyone but soon went to his room where he wept until he fell asleep and soon that was all he wanted to do, for you see he saw her in his dreams, saw her smile, heard her laugh, felt her touch, everything. But when he awoke he was always alone, and that is what killed him the most. She was gone and he was left to remain a shallow and empty being. But if he remembered correctly that was what he wanted, however her deat never once played part in it, so if she was finally gone why was he sad? Why did he cry?

I surely do think you know that answer.

Listen to me and listen to me now, _I am_ the man mention in this story, _I _broke her heart, me,_ I_ did it! _I am_ the one who you should hate with every being in your body! Go on do it! I know I already am! If I had, had the knowledge back then that I have now the moment she told me she loved me I would have hugged her so close to my body that she'd feel we would never get any closer, I would have kissed her so much that her lips would have been bruised for weeks, no months. But I didn't, and now it's over, I screwed up once again, I _always _kill the ones I love but never the ones I hate. Except for this moment in time I will kill someone I hate......

Myself.....


End file.
